Roots

I came across a TV show on HBO "The Latino List". It really hit home with me hearing the stories about certain entertainers, Journalists, and Actors. I grew up in 2 very different worlds. From age 1-12 years old I was raised in California. I knew my Moms side of the family was Mexican, and that my Dad was White. See growing up in California I never noticed or realised that I was in a different group. My mom always taught me to be proud of who I am and my Latin roots. My Grandpa didn't want my mother to know Spanish, because he wanted her to be American. So this meant I knew I was Mexican just didn't really know exactly what that meant. When I was 12 we moved to Iowa and I got to see the difference between being a mixed child and The All American White bread home life. See I have the Heart of a Latina and the skin color of a white girl. I never thought bad about who I was. I thought it was special that I have Latin blood. Coming to Iowa people reminded me that my family was different. My older brother was dark skinned, and my younger brother and I were light skinned. People would call us wetbacks, spic's, and trash. I even remember my Social Studies Teacher asking me i"D you know what they called a person who crosses the water to come to America?"I didn't know and he laughed and said "Well you should know, because you are one;A WETBACK!" Talk about feeling alone, and of course the whole class laughed. There was a time when my mom shared a story with me about my brother.My mom worked at a truck stop in town and my older brother went in to talk to her and after he left a customer said to my mom" Man those dirty Mexicans are everywhere. Was he bugging you?"My mom said to the customer " Excuse me but that's my son!"See in California there's so many different ethnicity groups that you don't notice the how different we really are. I mean I moved to a town with 1600 white people who that if a black person touched them it would rub off. CRAZY RIGHT!See my older brother was the only one who really understood my desire to hold on to who I was and wanted to become. Someone who was proud of roots and wanted to show people how beautiful it is. My younger brother just liked fitting in. I was more of the one who went against the grain.lol When I was 15 my older brother was killed in an automobile accident. So many people said he must of caused, since hes Mexican. I figured I would fight anyone who said anything derogatory about Mexicans or my family. I was gonna take on the world at 15. I spent many times alone with no one who understood me not even my own family. See I was unwilling to just settle and be nice to the people who said hateful comments, or jokes. I went through my whole school career fighting for something no one but me cared about. As an adult I have calmed down a lot. I have come to the realisation that all I did was show how ignorant I was by how I represented myself to other people. Since I didn't have anyone who cared about my dream to get to know my culture, my roots it left me blind. In the years since I have Married a wonderful man and have a daughter. This is my chance to show my daughter not only is she a beautiful person but she has special roots. I will not only teach her where we came from but learn along with her. I don't blame my family for not being there for me. I know they didn't understand and I'm okay with that now. God has healed those wounds and made me new. I'm just thankful that God made me a Latina!